Opening Words.

I do not believe in coincidences. The timing of all of this has been rather coincidental, if I believed in that.

Your father and I were not expecting you—but that does not mean we do not adore you already.

No matter any amount of fears, uncertainties, or apprehensions that may have occurred in the first moments of our unexpected and unplanned pregnancy will keep me from moving forward and protecting you.

I am not perfect. I will not pretend that I will be a perfect mother and not make mistakes.

But there are a few things I promise to you and hold so closely to my heart. If I break any of these promises, may my God strike me where I stand, for I do not deserve you.

I promise you that I will protect you. I will take as much of the burden as I can from you. I will fight as many fights as I am capable of for your sake.

I promise you my love without strings attached. If one day you decide to walk away from me as I did my own father; I will not attempt to control your decision. I will not manipulate you for any personal selfish reasons. I will not make you be the person I desire, I would rather you be who you want to be.

I promise you that you will never feel pressured to be or act any other way than you feel. You do not owe anyone, including me or your father anything. We encourage you to be authentic to yourself, whatever that may mean to you. I would not say that we have established any expectations for you other than that we want you to know that you are autonomous.

I promise to you that even the unpopular decisions I have to make as your mother, I have ruminated over and over in my head. I want to be fair to you and I want to set you up for success.

Nothing else matters, only you.

We got to meet you on the ultrasound yesterday. We are so excited to meet you. All of the challenges, the discomforts, and the pain I have endured at only nine weeks is greatly overshadowed by the intense love we feel for you.

I named you Sloan within seconds of discovering that you were with us.

Pregnancy thus far has only been an uphill battle, I will be honest. The last thing as your mom I want to do is to keep you from the truth. This blog also serves as my way of preserving messages to you that I do not think you are ready to learn yet.

We have not met yet, but I already know so much about you. I think I have a hunch about your personality and traits you will inevitably inherit.

You will be one force of a person. In whatever way you choose to embody that; I know my child will be a force to be reckoned with.